6 years ago I received a birthday gift from my parents – it was the generous birthday check I received each year. Since my birthday is July 10, it was disconcerting seeing the check dated for 10-10-10. My husband encouraged me to point out the error to my father, as it would be difficult to do anything with a check that has a date well into the future. But I chose not to. I figured I would hold onto the check for a while.
My father died on 10-10-10. There were giant balloons in the airport that day. Big 10’s filled with helium. I remember them as I was rushing to get to his bedside. I remember the call I received that it was too late and the tissues and water bottles strangers brought to me as I cried beside the bouncing Mylar balloons.
I didn’t remember that birthday check until several months later.
For the years that passed by after my father’s death, I hoped that I would dream about him. My siblings and mother reported experiences — some difficult and some wonderful — where they met him in their dreams. I just wanted to find my father in a dream too.
Time went by and I still could not find him in any dream. Until October 2015. On October 22, 2015, I dreamt about my father. I heard someone walk into another room. I walked into that room and there he was. He was dressed in a suit and he looked wonderful. He gazed at me and then at the beautiful young lady beside me and then he slowly knelt down in tears as he realized he was meeting my new daughter.
There were no words. I just felt his acceptance and love and I also woke up knowing the answer to a question that we struggled to find. In addition to gaining our last name, our newest child wanted us to give her a middle name as well.
That night while in bed I didn’t ask for my father to appear in a dream, in fact I was more focused on our upcoming adoption. I prayed for our family and for assistance with finding her a middle name.
Upon waking up that October morning, it was obvious what our daughter’s middle name would be – she would be named in honor of the grandfather she never met.
The entire time I was looking for my father, he was with me the whole time. He is the voice in my head when I need him most.
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